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in one of my classes, we are doing presentations related to health care. today a girl did her presentation on amanda baggs (an autistic woman with a video blog on youtube) and autism. i was not happy with her presentation and her constantly addressing the class as "people like us" or "people not like them", and i was hurt by what she said. so i wanted to send an email to the teacher outlining my concerns. ( this is what i would like to say ) do you think this is appropriate? should i send him a note at all? i want people to know that not all people with autism are "abnormal", but i do not want to cause a fuss. |
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i have been feeling nervous lately... a kind of restlessness, i think. i may have the opportunity to make a new friend, but i am not sure... i have been quiet for a long time now among my peers, it may be difficult... i do hope that this will end well. a friend would be nice... but, should it not, i must not only fault myself for lack of trying. i had another nightmare last night... about the girl who hurt me. it happens almost once a week now. i do not understand it, it has been so long since we have spoken... what could it mean? it disturbs and frightens me to see her, if only in my dreams. i am afraid of the anger it creates within me. i do not want to feel that. |
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this summer i am so busy with summer classes, i do not have much time to spend online. i will try to update more often though, in case there is anyone who is interested.
i am working on the garden with mother this summer. yesterday we bought roses and a plant with pretty blue flowers, i forgot the name. i will post photos of the roses after they bloom. |
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today my mother said my love of shiny things is "almost autistic". well no kidding, mother! i wonder what she thinks aspergers means.... |
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My Personality
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some new things that i haven't mentioned... this semester i started taking upper-level biology courses at a local university. i like to learn on my own, and was able to test out of the intro courses... i will continue to take classes there this summer, and hopefully when i enter college i will have enough credits to begin as a sophomore or a junior. this is very exciting! also more good news, my little sister is making progress! i am teaching her sign language... just simple signs for now, "sister", "love", "hungry"... her motor skills are not very good so i do not think she would do well with the alphabet, so i taught her "book" to refer to me (my nickname, shiori, means "bookmark"). we still have to go over the same signs every day, but she is making progress... she still only attempts to communicate with me, though, but for now that is ok... i plan on living at home during college so i can continue to care for her. |
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hello i am still here... my birthday is in 3 days, i will be turning 16. my sister and i will be baking cupcakes, but other than that i do not have any plans. but baking should be fun! |
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i want to start doing more things for me. this will be hard... usually, i only do things because of how they will benefit other people... i ignore my own needs. but, i know this is not good... i cannot think of any other way in which i can live in harmony with others, however. i put my heart into things that i care deeply about, but there is no one to say "i am proud of you" or "i respect you". this is normal, but, i think there should be more than that... happiness is fleeting, especially when surrounded by so much suffering and pain. my own is inconsequential - the hurtful words cause sadness, but i cannot be angry with them. they are too different, i suppose. but, i do not like being so lonely... |
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another wonderful weekend... i attended a conference on animal rights with my sister, and i do not have the words to describe how i felt there. the warmth and caring and love for animals was overwhelming! my sister has decided to become a vegan recently, and after attending this conference i have decided to join her. it is very strange, the conflicting feelings... the happiness of being around such wonderful people, and the sadness of such an enormous amount of suffering... |
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hello i am doing well. i attended otakon last weekend and i enjoyed myself very much... it has been a long long time since i have been so happy. |
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Also, a very flamboyant employee at Sephora asked to touch my hair. I let him, but it was very weird. Why do people ask to touch my hair?? This isn't uncommon! [oh dear, that post wasn't mine - my sister posted this, she did not realize i was still signed in instead of her. no one tried to touch my hair thank goodness!] |
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i would like to say thank you to everyone who has added me to their friends list. i do appreciate it! |
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( this is my story ) i have posted this before in a different journal a year ago, and i am posting it again just so i can have it in this journal as well. |
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i have changed my mind... i think it's time for me to grow up. to be honest with myself and other people... to maybe stop reliving the past over and over and over again... there is a thunder storm outside, but i can still see the sun from behind the curtains... odd, isn't it? |
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i am sorry everyone... i always do the wrong thing... i want to come out more, but, little by little i will remove myself more until i am gone... |
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